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What We Can Learn from “Dance Moms” and “Toddlers and Tiaras”I am not much of a reality television person. Why? I dislike all of the drama that goes on between the people. Sure, some of it is put on for the cameras to get the ratings up, but more than likely, a lot of it isn’t. That being said, lately I have caught a few episodes of “Dance Moms” and “Toddlers and Tiaras.”
Out of the two, the first show I watched happened to be “Toddlers and Tiaras” and I found some of the mothers featured on the show to be over-the-top. However, this last week I happened to catch a few episodes of “Dance Moms” and I must say that these mothers have the pageant moms beat when it comes to drama…and so does the instructor. The good news is that the few hours I’ve spent watching these shows have not been a complete waste of time. I have actually learned a few things, believe it or not, from them. Below are my findings.
1. It’s About the Kids. On both shows, many of the parents are living through their kids, which is just flat out wrong. However, some of the girls involved in the pageants genuinely enjoy them. They love wearing their jewel-studded pageant dresses and performing various routines and their parents support them because of their desire to compete. The same is true of the young girls featured on “Dance Moms.” So, what’s the lesson here? Before entering your child in any activity, make sure that you’re doing so because your child wants to participate/compete…not because you’re pressuring them to do so.
2. Set a Good Example. There is nothing sadder than watching the mothers on “Dance Moms” duke it out (verbally) with the instructor in front of their kids. If you’ve never watched the show, these verbal altercations are not calm, even-toned altercations. No, both the instructor and the moms are often yelling at each other. One mother even threw a shoe at the instructor. All of this goes on in front of the children. What kind of example is this setting for the girls? That it’s okay to yell and throw a tantrum when we get mad at someone else? It’s not a big deal to throw a shoe at the person? The lesson: kids learn the most by watching the adults around them. This is especially true regarding their communication skills and behavioral skills. Therefore, set a good example for your kids. If you don’t agree with one of your child’s teachers, approach the teacher in private…away from your child.
3. Too Much Pressure Isn’t Good. The adults shown on both shows place a tremendous amount of pressure on their children. Naturally, any child who is preparing for a competition is under pressure, but when you are constantly saying things like “you better not forget your routine” or “second place is the first loser” you’re adding unnecessary pressure to their tiny shoulders, especially when it’s done over and over again. The lesson: don’t add to the pressure your child is already under by saying negative and/or belittling comments to them. Instead, encourage them and remain positive…you’d be surprised at how far a little encouragement will go.
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